withnail and i quotes here hare here withnail and i quotes here hare here

Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Your desires. The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Uncle Monty: Sherry? DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] What have you done to them? By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. Marwood: I'm gonna be a star*! Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Brings back such memories of Oxford. So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? Jake: Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. Marwood: Hair are your aerials. Oh, but how dreadful. Do you like vegetables? Hurry up, Mabs. What good's the side? Withnail: There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Marwood: A Massachusetts man was sentenced to probation for running an illegal hare trapping operation in Maine. Marwood: Withnail: She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. Waitress: Withnail: You mustn't blame yourself. Withnail: Look here, my cousin's a QC! The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. You have done something to your brain. Withnail: Well neither have I. Jesus Christ. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. "GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!" "I feel like a pig shat in my head." "Don't threaten me with a dead fish." "A coward you are, Withnail. If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! [pulling back the lace curtain] These eels are for my pot. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Jake: Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! [casually lighting a cigarette] He had a weight under his fez. Because I want to walk you to the station. Withnail: Withnail: [shouting at his cat] Withnail: Making an enemy of our own future. Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. Look at Geoff Woade. Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Thanks! It's true, I crept the boards in my youth. Get out of it for a while. I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. Danny: Dont be ridiculous. [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] [to Withnail] Withnail: It is called a Camberwell Carrot. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. Rejuvenate? There can be no true beauty without decay. Withnail: Withnail: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and f*** off while you're doing it! What's your name, MacFuck? Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. No, nor woman neither nor woman neither. Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! Withnail: It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". Marwood: You know what we should do? Withnail is cowering under the covers]. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! Cake. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! Hare. It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. [overtaking a car on the motorway] Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? Danny: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. We're in danger, we've got to get out. These eels here are for his pot. Locations, see. The fucking kettle's on fire! Hello? Withnail: Look at my tongue. https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. Withnail: Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. Marwood: Get out of it for a while. I have a heart condition. Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. It's like Greenland in here. We're working on a film up here. Danny: There's nothing out there except a hurricane. They dont like me being on stage. It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. [reading a newspaper] Withnail: Stop saying that! Uncle Monty: Oh! I feel like a pig shat in my head! But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. I don't advise a haircut, man. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . How can it be so cold in here? Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. [as Marwood walks past him] Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's gonna be a lot of refugees. Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. It's you he wants. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Isaac Parkin: As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Monty: Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? Withnail: When I strike they won't know what hit them! The beauty of the world! Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. We've gone on holiday by mistake. Especially that. I've already put two shilling pieces in. [while high on drugs] You'll have to find us first. I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. Add spice to it. Suits me. This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Monty: I do. Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Got a bit carried away. Im in the same boat. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up. Here, I dont want it. I say, you know what we should do? Flowers are essentially tarts. Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Marwood: One of my favourite movies. It has voodoo qualities. Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! He won't gore you. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. Belongs to the fellow downstairs. The carrot has mystery. Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Clearly a myth. Soak up the booze. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Who fucks arses? It's available on That's what I want to know! If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. I feel unusual. Oh, how I tried not to. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. What do you want? Keep back, keep back! Stop saying that! Withnail: Withnail: Will it? Poacher. Withnail: Speed, is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane Time change. I don't know what's in here. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! Your sensitivity overwhelms me. Here comes another fucker! We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! Monty: Here hare here! Danny: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. London is a country coming down from its trip. Oh no, we'd be sucked into his trap! Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. 1 comment. Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Required fields are marked *. I've looked into it. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! This is me, naked in a corner! Prostitutes for the bees. The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . [is being arrested for drunk driving] In this case, it most certainly would not. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news! Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. How dare you call me inhumane! Marwood: We're in the middle of a f***ing gale. The meaning dawns on him. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. [cockily] I've only had a few ales. [looking at a newspaper] Talk. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Quotes.net. I shall miss you too. You will make it low. He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. I assure you I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly. He winces as he stretches his leg]. Withnail: Withnail: And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Dealt with them? [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. The cottage. Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Please, let's go. Monty: I think you've been punished enough. Monty: He can eat his ****ing radish. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. General: save. You dont deserve such loyalty. Withnail: Withnail and I completed its run in 1970. We're coming back in here. We want them here and we want them now! I know you're not asleep, boy. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Hello? Listen, you young prat. Look at that, accident black spot! I adore you. Withnail: Marwood: Monty: Tea Shop Proprietor: Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house? Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. He told me about your problems. Withnail: Come on, old boy. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! Danny: I think we've been in here too long. Withnail: Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! Marwood: It will die, it will die! Withnail: We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. Monty: [to Marwood] I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. What a piece of work is a man! Oh, look at this little bastard. [narrating over scene] Tea Shop Proprietor: Why have you drugged their onions?! Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. Get into countryside, rejuvenate. [referring to the radish on Monty's lapel] Marwood: Well, I don't know. How like an angel in apprehension! So, he looks at the Coalman and says "What's all this? I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. I demand to have some booze!. Making enemies of our own futures. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader! I often wonder where Norman is now. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. It's the only solution to this intense cold. [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Withnail: Withnail: Sulking up the hill. I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. Withnail: I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. [voiceover] Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? There can be no true beauty without decay. Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. ""Here. I was gonna cook onions. I can't. Why can't I get on television? Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Let him get his drugs out. What a piece of work is a man! Marwood: Marwood: A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. It's a part I intend to play, Uncle. Headhunter to everybody. Withnail: How should I know where we are? All right here? [after a phone call with his agent] I don't consciously offend big men like this. Get that damned little swine out of here! And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. Monty: Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! Here. You're out of your mind! We'll have another pair of large scotches. You don't understand. [Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Danny: Withnail: How right you are, how right you are. This doesn't go down at all well. We're doing a feature for Country Life. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! "It's gone. He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. The carrot has mystery. He used to pick on me. I need at least an hour for lunch., Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. Withnail: Marwood: Afrika Korps. Marwood: Withnail: Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! And at the end, it seems Withnail is sad that Marwood is leaving him and regrets his choices. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" The beauty of the world. Why don't I get any soup? Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." I've got a bastard behind the eyes. An expert on bulls you are not! Withnail: The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! I think a drink, don't you? Ive absolutely no interest in yours. A cat, rain, Vim under the sink, and both bars on. [a live chicken is standing on the table]. And how dare you tell him I love you?! Burnt! And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Oh, Baudelaire. Danny: Shut that gate and keep it shut! If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! Oh, Christ almighty. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Withnail: Well, I don't know. *Scrubbers*! This is a British cult classic. Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] I'm starving. Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Withnail: Danny: Mrs. Parkin: I think an evening at The Crow. "Withnail and I Quotes." Danny: And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." We want to get in there, don't we? How dare you! What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? This is ridiculous. I feel like a pig shat in my head. Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. And you'd be marvellous. Monty: [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. Withnail: I must be ill. Monty: It's the only solution to this intense cold. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. Then the fucker will rue the day! Jake: Now look, you. 4 Mar. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Change down, man. When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . [extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky]. Withnail: What happened to my cigar commercial? Danny: [spits onto the ground] [voiceover] Withnail: We've just run out of wine. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Danny: Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. You just wait. is the clip Thanks! You're not leaving me in here alone. Danny: So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. No! Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Tell him if you must, I no longer care.