Cookie Notice 36. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. The hottest single of the year is me. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Is everything stable at your end? Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question - Anonymous. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. It can be good to just say it how it is. but it's just so blunt and funny. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. 47. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Scroll down! *licks lips*. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Hope you're well". Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. You should really come with a warning label. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. 22. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Being single is much better than being married. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. 60. I agree, thanks for sharing. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. 59. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Your email address will not be published. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Call the police." 13 Quora User Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. 20. Are you going to help me have a good day? If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. So, you changed your mind? I just adore my own company. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. You were a young man when you last spoke. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! 35. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! 4. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. (This line came from the cartoon show. 90. 5. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Keep calm and be awesome. 71. Hello, how are you? But, whats the likelihood of that happening? I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. The government? Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? 1. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. I'm alive! I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. It's all about confidence. funny response to are you still alive Privacy Policy. It's Okay. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. 67. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Want to equip yourself with more responses? When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! 1. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. What's your sign? You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. 31. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Stupidity isnt a crime. 4. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. 69. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. "Alright. Unlikely, but worth a shot. 76 Best Replies and Answers to How Are You Doing? - Trending Us Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 79. 78. What could go wrong? Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. I'm wondering how you are. Are you serious? He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Not. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. 66. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Moving in with Roommates? 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. and our I plead the fifth. Hanging by a thread. Image: wikimedia commons 6. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. "You know I can do this anytime.". Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. How do you usually respond to the question? Were already married, remember?! I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Don Draper? The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer 58. | Are you surviving? 28 Witty Responses To Ghosting That'll Haunt Them Forever - Bustle 15. 81. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! How to respond to an ex asking how you are? But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Oh, stop it, will you? 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You Siri, why am I still single? When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Someone took their costume way too seriously. 50. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. I was doing great, before you came. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. 98. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 29. *wink*. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky Im in a relationship with myself. Is it your job to spread ignorance? 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence Financially? You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. 101. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. You look tired. 1. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? 2. How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily 382 Likes, 344 Comments. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Boom. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! 88. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. Socioeconomically? How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Oh, what a long list. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. What's your sign? 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying 54. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. 19. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. 12. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. 17. 93. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Could be better, though. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. 12. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. Who knows, they might just do it. 18. Just Smile And Nod Thank you Fred. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? To text, most of us need our thumbs. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. 18. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Not bad. 52. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Some people spend all their time on their phone. 61. 45. Could Be Payday. 5. We cant always get what we want now, can we? Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 14. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . It lets him know that you love spending time together. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Checklists & Reminders! Do you have a minute? Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Thats why Im single. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. I always yawn when Im interested. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. 5. 86. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! I hope you like some of them. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Because if you are, youre doing it right. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? 13. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? Get your own life first before you try sharing it. Stop asking me why Im single!