If they dont know you very well, theyll definitely think youre an irresponsible flake. This site does not constitute as legal, mental, or medical health advice, please consult a competent licensed professional. None of this is a joke, and Im so mad at this LWs boss because the drills are meant to protect people and theyre done out of fear but we cant have TOO MUCH FEAR, mind you, because thats negative somehow. But I mostly just want to call OP out. by Please stand firm on the accommodations that you need. We shouldnt be expecting children to go thru this. (Or maybe youcan!). No job is worth your life. Dealing with Life Events or Advice, Texts and Messaging Templates. She realized after they should not have made those jokes where I could hear them (though I understand you sometimes need dark humor to deflect your own discomfort). Anyone else attending Berklee College of Music? That said, there is a little bit of the risk involved because either you will end up making them feel bad or you will actually have to leave your house if they say yes. Amazing- they hire someone to assess risk, then ignore what they have to say about risk to staff in the lobby. Its a big box store, just a series of giant open rooms! I HATED that we had to do these trainings it felt like being given a band-aid for a hemorrhage. On top of that, everyone was ordered not to use their cell phones. I remember going to a 4th of July party thrown by a combat veteran friend-of-a-friend. It doesnt matter what people think. Michelle Rennex, Culture Whats your advice?. That way, you have the documentation if you need to go to HR. No one in management cared. This week theyre doing live action Run Hide Fight drills in their middle school. Dont want to be one of those flaky people anc cancel last minute on them. A man that old fashioned is going to shut you down fast and tell you just stay home. If she calls out sick, she can just insist Im sick; cant come in regardless of what the boss says. Agreed those, and other things like kids figuring out to hand out scissors, bother me too. It's easy to learn and can be used by non-developers to create amazing websites. Because lets be honest, who does not want to have a hot mug of coffee on the terrace while watching the rain pouring onto the glass of your windows, making a thud sound and yet so calming? Do I normally condone lying? Forcing people to pretend theyd died???? The answer is maybe. There is NO WAY she could do a 7 hour (!) and it will be late till you reach there. Scripts & Templates for Lifes Uncomfortable Conversations. It should be the same level of training they get for things like earthquakes, fires, or hazardous weather: how to recognize a situation that requires action, where you go to evacuate/shelter and what to do if a problem arises, how/who do you notify. But looking back, that was not normal. The shooting didnt follow most of the normal scripts for these things, so it was mass chaos anyway. Career success can be easy only if you know how. BS on that one! Everytown urges schools not to hold them (or, to reconsider them): https://www.everytown.org/solutions/active-shooter-drills/, My middle-schooler had one this week. Guessing they will breakout into groups and tour the building to find safe places to hide or ways to block paths. My workplace recently made kind of a big deal about a mandatory training (DEI, not active shooter). Full stop. Nope, apparently were supposed to magically ignore our actual needs as well as whether you can actually do any of this running and hiding in the building/area we work in. A few years back someone actually did bring a gun into our building, attempting to commit suicide by cop. No one will ask an explanation for this one as we all know how severe it hits. 1) Wont happen herewe are nowhere near the big city where these things happen. See also so many links and comments above on why these do not work. If you play dumb Yeah, I dunno man, it came out of nowhere youll have them feeling sorry for you and totally fine about cancelling. - From a Soldier perspective. But if thats not the case,tell them you were here (at some distant place) to pick up some workrelatedstuff,and it will be late till you reach there. Many many pointed questions would be asked, if they are going to make me go through that kinda nonsense Im going to insist that they are asked as many uncomfortable preparedness questions as possible. Asking the host for a favor right before they are holding a party is going to result in your favor. The staff came to me and I asked him to go lock it in his car, which he did without question or argument. I am so sorry for you and your child. Id almost respect that he said the quiet part out loud, except that the quiet part is so thoroughly and totally repellent. When I voiced my concerns, he made a few jokes about how he would simply redirect the shooter to a younger person, then asked if I was saying I wouldnt be able to take it.. Frankly, its upsetting enough leaving them behind at daycare 4 days a week even though I know they both love it, and they are extremely safe. Soldiers who are problems are not put out the correct way because the paperwork takes to long. In my city, people would probably worry (justifiably) that the helicopter was there to shoot and/or deport them. And if you are not looking up for one, have a detailed conversation with him,and I bet you will scare him off. You may not even know who the person is, but as long as your friends are going, youre good to go. I already know how to do nothing. #2 "I Have The Runs" He took one look at me and sent me home, I was obviously in no fit state to work. It is not unreasonable to expect a weekend rest after a hard weeks work. * I am at a loss as to how any sort of effective drill could possibly take that long. There is a huge possibility that they wont remember asking you later in the hustle of all the guests. Definitely take the day off. You should absolutely be able to opt out of the training. Michelle Rennex, Film You have a family emergency. Absolutely. Things have been chaotic and I need a little time to recoop. That would be my guess too, but we cant know. Yeah, our local transit agency shuts down a station occasionally (usually several hours on a Sunday morning) so all the emergency service people can run a training exercise. In that case, the advice to advance schedule a dr appointment for that day applies. It could also make the shooter more effective because it could very well be an employee in this training that becomes the shooter. Why the hell did you make so many freakin plans? Creating an outer impression of niceness is not that hard if a person has halfway decent social skills. Hes that cavalier about mass mayhem?? Three cups of black coffee and a gas station burrito will do the trick, too. If you needed proof that these idiots have not clue, this is it. Burying your head in the sand wont change reality. Im betting theyre planning it for some random time within those 7 hours. This means that even though the weekend has traditionally been a time of leisure, modern workplace trends mean that a lot of people work on the weekends. Sometimes the truth comes out when people pretend to joke. All-day first aid training? Cain gives introverts the tools to better understand themselves and take full advantage of their strengths. Talk to your units First Sergeant or Commander if you believe you have a valid reason for being excused from an upcoming drill. Even seasoned writers need a helping hand at times, thats why we trust Grammarly Premium. I thought I was the only one to do this lololol. oh no, youre coming down with a bad cold the day before & have to leave early & advise youll wont be in the next day. Even if that number never shows up. Either way the teachers are required by law to reschedule for the service member. You do volunteer work 8. Just call in sick that day. 11 Ingenious Ways To Get Out Of Plans, From A Professional Flake Its a nightmare. Do they set real fires for a fire drill? Your goal should be TO LEARN during the drill, not avoid it. Content warning for anyone who (like me) was curious about this and did google for the original news story: many of the top links I found in the google results included detailed descriptions of the fake-shooters other, unrelated charges (abuse of a minor). I don't know how it was in the reserves, but in the Nasty Guard you had to make up the time and have a damn good exscuse. Large auditorium. I dont need to sit through seven hours of that garbageagain. This was a school-sanctioned event!! 10 Good Excuses to Not Work Weekends (for a Week or Permenantly) - HQ HIRE Most of the employees on campus did not directly participate, but many of us had to complete a very very long online training. Im 38 now and I still think about that day with anxiety and sadness. My direct boss fought it and tried to get me excused, but her boss was firm that it was required. Im looking around to get away cause Im scared of gun being pulled. Know both your annual drill schedule and your college course schedule. Where the repetition is frequent, not annually at best. 3. Its in back of my mind when I go to various stores. Only if you think the person will understand. SEVEN hours??? First, try to schedule any conflicts well in advance so that your unit has plenty of notice. There is no value in a seven hour training for something that would last from 5-30 minutes, realistically. It was brief, watch the video and discuss. All rights reserved. My mom worked for a large company and has to deal with several (not at her location, thankfully, but as HR she had to deal with the aftermath). For example, an evacuation drill might reveal that the intended exit route is actually inaccessible because its blocked by blackberry thicket (true story), or a fire drill could show you that the fire alarm isnt audible in one part of the building (also true story). Part of our run-hide-fight training is a very well-done, professionally-shot video set on our hospital campus. 2. What could they possibly need seven hours to cover? Yes, I reject the idea that the boss is a nice person. I understand that gallows humor is a thing. Your boss is not a nice person. According to the US Department of Labor, Employment and Training Administration, approximately 44% of people in postsecondary education are adults over the age of 24. He doesnt care about his employees feelings. We had a few students around our county die in drunk driving accidents that year, and I imagine it was very upsetting for the parents, but there was clearly NO understanding that these were our friends and peers and maybe making grieving teenagers sit through this wasnt as helpful as they wanted it to be? For staff, we simply review our active shooter policy at our annual inservice which mostly amounts to lock-down and hide and pray. Without fail, some jackass tells me how terrible I look. But there are ways to make it better. But hes a nice guy . https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/hr-topics/employee-relations/pages/workplace-shootings-research-.aspx, https://thehill.com/opinion/healthcare/436994-active-shooter-training-fails-because-it-relies-on-fear/, https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/voices/2019/05/23/teachers-active-shooter-trainings-ineffective-stressful-column/3754113002/, https://www.insider.com/young-school-shooters-grew-up-doing-active-shooter-drills-experts-2022-6, https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/blog/advocacy/active-shooter-drills-harmful-or-helpful/. Oct 21, 2005 #2. Afterwards, we did a Run/Hide/Fight video, talked about some specific places for it in our building, and listened/watched some videos from an actual active shooter event from a few years before, as the video showed what police response would actually look like. ****WARNING FOR SENTENCES BELOW*****. LW didnt really mention it as an option, though, so Im wondering if both her PTO and Sick leave is limited. Thanks to experiencing a variety of traumatic violence, I tend to escalate immediately to threat elimination mode. The statement Repeated [high-quality] training hones reflex actions is true. I wouldnt outright say it was a mental health day, since this boss almost certainly wouldnt consider that a valid sick day given his opinions on mental health. Someone (I think it was Maya Angelou) said that when somebody shows you who they are, you should believe them. We had one at my former workplace. So, maybe next time? My heart goes out to you, OP. Call in sick. The messaging was very much this is the best way to keep you from getting killed, take your own life into your hands and fight back! And its like, well, given the current gun laws, yes, this is my best option but it felt insulting to be told this. No one is filling the hallways with smoke and heating door knobs during a fire drill. Somake a call and tell them how your place is flooded with water and you need to fix itas soon as possible. But I was wondering how can reasonable accomodations include opting out of mandatory safety related training? 2. Asking the host for a favor right before they are, holding a party is going to result in your favor. Take care of yourself first and foremost. If you look at the links other commenters have posted, theres actually little evidence that making people go through traumatic active shooter drills teaches them anything that they can put in practice if it really happens, so the usefulness of these drills is questionable at best. Thanks for your practical, even-minded comment. You want to spend the time with your family and friends, It has a positive impact on your physical and mental health, You have the opportunity to develop networking opportunities, Yor provide a service or goods to the community. consider that he might be telling the truth. You can go the formal accommodations route. I was irate several years ago when I found out an unqualified emergency management person made his own active shooter drill video and sent it to all staff at my agency. Youre talking about the kind of training that professionals receive. So. Wed also be delighted if you shared this article and joined us on social media too! My problem is my unit has decided that not enough people will show up so they moved Sept's drill to Aug 5-6 and made it mandatory. this situation is hard enough without your boss being insensitive. Were in the same school district as the Tree of Life shooting, which happened on a Saturday, and the following week was Halloweensomeone called in a threat to my kids elementary school that day, and my oldest was in swimming at the time. I worked somewhere where we had to do Run-Hide-Fight training. For example, you can offer to work when others would rather the time off such as during the school holidays, on public holidays, and days when people would like to be away from work such as New Years Eve and Christmas Eve. Then you can avoid the worst of the after-event commentary. But really, call in sick. Im so sorry you had to go through that. Her eyelids dont SPARKLE today! The trainings I have had have been locally-created garbage not based on evidence. I grew up in the Seventies and Eighties in the UK with the IRA. My kingdom for sensible, trauma-informed, non-security-theater workplace safety training. Anyone who schedules a 7 hour mass shooting drill is not right in their head. Run around with fake guns pretend shooting you. They were told that had this been a real event, they would be dead. Id never treat a younger person badly for refusing this. The best way to make the most of your time in the Drill Army Reserves is to get involved with your unit and fellow soldiers. I was voluntold to participate in my companys active shooter drills and I said straight out NO. At the time, I had an employee for whom the video would be too much. A group of robbers had started robbing this particular chain, specifically. I hope it goes well, and click send. **Person kills a cop and a security guard and ends up next to the organization waiting to engage law enforcement, he was caught.law enforcement response was disorganized due to lack of large scale practice. Thats ridiculous! Learn how your comment data is processed. You dont know how you will react until you are in a situation, but a one-time seven hour LARPing of a horrible situation will not help you and certainly can traumatize you. I was in a lockdown at a conference at a university. I dont worry about gun violence in my daily life, like, ever. Maybe hes friendly, but that doesnt equate to nice or kind. We were about 1hr 25 min away. Re-traumatizing everyone is just so very much not the answer here to any of this. My mind is so boggled by the fact that anyone would find this an appropriate and normal thing to do in a public setting where there are almost certainly students, staff, faculty, etc. OP, if you were to talk to your boss, and he says again you wouldnt be able to take it or something else similarly egregious, you can use the time-honored response, Im not sure what you mean.. I hope you can push back on this and would hope theyd realise that its inappropriate for it to be mandatory, but at the very least, please call in sick and protect yourself, OP <3. But Alisons advice is great. Additionally, I grew up in a part of the States that has very little gun culture to speak of; I wasnt around guns at all, didnt know anyone who owned one, never touched one till my mid-30s. They were clearly making an effort on all sides not to alarm the kids, and my own kids were totally oblivious that anything was amiss. Id call in sick. I started a new job recently, one where I wanted to impress and have significant imposter syndrome. If you are in the National Guard, you may be wondering if you can skip a drill weekend. So better use that if its the 20th or later of the month. And I am of the generation that didnt have mass events constantly, Im 51. Just type I got a call from my father in the morning today, and he is here in town for some work business. Thats just totally unreasonable. There's easily 100+ people that will be at the conference. THIS. I dont know what field youre in, but if the pharmacy field where they deal with peoples health/health insurance daily, doesnt have to deal with it, it seems highly unlikely your field should too if it isnt education or medical. Hey [Name], sorry to be that person, but Im exhausted from everything going on this week. Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Work - Shout! Factory This individual lived through a civil war in their country of origin and understandably was not keen on the idea of triggering difficult memories in a professional setting. Are they tenants in a building that is having this training for all businesses? I would say that the same principles apply as the LW. My university installed Bleeding Control Kits on *every* floor of *every* building a couple years ago. I snuck out between the lecture piece and the hands-on drill to sob in my office and then go home sick for the rest of the day. And if they press you too hard, start crying. Ive been participating in active shooter drills since high school, know about run-hide-fight, and have friends who have lost siblings to gun violence. I hope theyve fixed things since Katrina: that was four years after New York had similar problems during 9/11 with the police and fire departments not being able to communicate because they were using different frequencies. Absolutely take a sick day. How to Decline an Invitation Gracefully - MyDomaine By the same token, a person who cant deal with guns being fired in their vicinity is unlikely to be able to work as a law enforcement officer, particularly in the US. Theyre about 1/4 mile away, so they usually make it while the guard is on the phone to the alarm company explaining that nothings wrong at the sensor that triggered. Id call in sick the day before as well better cover story. Is it even living, or is it just surviving? A good excuse to tell your boss not to work on the weekends is an excuse that is socially acceptable and relatable. My 1st grader and her classmates knew all the hiding spots in their school and when they built a model school classroom as a project, insisted they put several into their creation. :D, https://www.fox4news.com/news/officer-shot-during-active-shooter-training-forest-hill, https://www.kios.org/news/2022-08-25/arrest-follows-active-shooter-drill-gone-wrong, https://www.securityinfowatch.com/healthcare/news/21277863/three-more-nurses-sue-adventhealth-over-faked-active-shooting. *Deep breath* Many triggering statements made below, please be advised. Maybe you choose a night later in the week so if you're tired, so you can remind yourself you'll just have to get through one more day until the weekend. I remember there was someone (presumably several administrators) in the hallway repeatedly jiggling the locked door handle and it was suggested to us that they were doing so every time we were loud enough to be heard from the hallway. Even though we always we given advance notice of a drill. There isnt a traditional HR department here, and this is an office where were really subject to the dictates of our boss. Ive done that, although, not often but it works & it doesnt look suspicious when you call in next day. But the elderly retired people didnt evacuate, even the ones who can do stairs. For many units, one of these traditions is Drill Weekend. Drill Weekend is a chance for soldiers to get away from the daily grind and focus on training. Because all you need to do is say these four words. So is drill. We have a lot of jerks in my city who flout the fireworks bans (wildfire risk) and he said the clouds of smoke glowing with fireworks and sunset accompanying intermittent booms and crackles had an uncanny resemblance to firefights where he had been stationed. Im almost 24. I second Alisons phrasing of opting out as a prediction of the future, not as a request: I will not be participating, so how should we proceed? Or what about the people who have to eat food/take pills at certain times of the day because of health conditions? First responders and EM do exercises to improve our side of it. To this day I can remember everything about Columbine and it felt like there was this huge shift that altered the rest of my school experience. Pardon me if I dont exactly trust law enforcement to do your training for one minute let alone seven hours. Happy Me time! Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook so you always know where to find us. But that was just about 30 minutes, not anything we had to actually do. You dont owe anyone any explanations. If you are sick, you must report to your unit and be evaluated by a medical professional. But its traumatizing for the kids to practice these drills, and honestly, if we just had some gun reforms, there would be literally no reason we should have to be subjected to this in the first place. She has nothing to gain, and something to lose, by trying to play it by the book. Im aware of the exits on campus, and my personal area is chock full of hiding spaces. As an Australian, I cannot fathom living life like this. So yes, after a while you realize not much will change and there is nothing you can do about it and you dont understand why people dont careand you never see any photos of dead children so it is almost theoretical and what can you do so you just get numb. Not a drill, but my church employer, with school and preschool attached, had us all watch a video of a shooting simulation at a school. I asked for active shooter training at my current workplace because our current safety training is very spotty think staff not knowing the nearest exits or how to lock doors. The active shooter training was performative and to tick off an insurance requirement. 30 Good Reasons To Call Out Of Work - Rigorous Themes You dont need her permission to Nope out of the next one. We watched a couple videos at my office, and had some PowerPoints. They were rushed out of the pool without their towels (not time, not with lives at stake) and had to hide in an unheated locker room for 2+ hours afterwards. This boss is not ok, and you deserve better. Also want to say: I hear that there are differences between younger folks experience and us middle aged people who grew up prior to mass school shootings being so frequent. Because Labor Day is around the corner and we're all thinking about that coveted three-day weekend, we thought we'd come up with a list of the Top 10 Excuses to Get Out of Work, brought to you by Bloodsucking Bastards, a comedy/horror film featuring the one office you'd like to work in even less than your own. As a former company commander in the NG I routinely let my personnel miss or make up drills. Seven hours at work, doing not-work how much of a backlog will there be the next day? Im older woman, early 50s, white, living in Texas where no permit is needed to carry a gun. They dont have any problem with reading anything, its the simulations. Here are a few ideas: Never the Right Word is a participant in the Awin Affiliates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to participating merchants. Im a little bit too old to really be a member of the school-shooting-generation (in that I was in undergrad by the time Sandy Hook happened), and my impression when I hear my younger peers talking about it (and from some commenters in threads below) is that the pervasiveness (of both the drills and the threat) is what makes them so traumatizing for many people. They're royalty-free and ready to use. Edit: please understand I am NOT a highly motivated soldier. Didnt we have one round up/commenter who had a super-nosy boss who wanted to know all the details for calling out sick, and she called the boss as she was praying to the porcelain throne? But its a good skill to have that will serve you well in your career. And the ironic part: stress can lead to a higher frequency of migraines, even in people taking a preventative medication, so it would actually be quite possible I might actually wake up with one if I were in OPs situation. Call in sick, OP, please. Since OPs boss says the training is mandatory, any pre-submitted PTO requests would probably be denied. Ugh, so sorry OP this is a terrible idea on your companys part. We havent been told what it will entail, but its seven hours long and weve been instructed to wear comfortable clothing. Even I could tell how hard it was for him to keep it together. You were asked to attenda raging, booze-filled pub crawlon Friday? You are attending a religious event 4. A good chain of command knows who these employers are as well as are able to come up with ways to work with the Soldier to deconflict. Anyone can offer this training, and who knows the background of the trainer, if theyve informed and/or worked with law enforcement to plan and schedule the exercise, or if they have any background in the psychological impacts of active shooter situations, simulated or not (doubtful). And the best part is that no onedoubts them a pinchbecause they all sound so real, dont they? Hey you! It doesnt matter whether youre needed to babysit your grandchildren, godchildren, or your best friends fur babies, lending a hand when its needed is a fundamental part of living in a caring society and being a good friend. Take the day off if you can call in sick if you need to. So, emotions were really high the week following. Theyll know all the doors to block, all the hiding spots, all the weapons to hide. I literally had a panic attack and left. Exactly. Lol I was going to say the same thing. What Happens if You Miss One Weekend a Month in the National - Synonym #1 "I Have A Headache" A headache isn't severe enough to render you useless for a long period of time but it's bad enough that it'll get you out of a social engagement. Your boss sounds like a huge jerk. Thankfully my boss was fantastic and made sure I didnt have to attend an actual training. Your boss sounds like an as**. That is absurd. Ugh. She knows what to do. Oddly enough I think my boss would have been receptive to the OPs situation and absolutely understood if an active shooter drill was too much for some people but she would have never understood my objection to the mandatory fun (which she was super excited about).